Your Desk, Your Grand Daughter

Daddy,
She does her homework at Mom ma's desk.  We sometimes have tracings marked on our pages because of deep lines that are there.  We have to rearrange her paper around them but I don't mind because I know that Momma, or you or I put them there.  I have all the cedar furniture you made in one room, our family room,, where we live.  We all like it.  When I open the drawers of the desk I sometimes catch a scent of the cedar.  Sarah Morgan and I twirl the knobs on the drawers just like I did when I was a child and when we touch them I tell her you whittled them.  I have to get the screw driver and get them tight again like you did.  Right now there are Boxtops, lip gloss, chewing gum packs, Happy Meal toys, drawings, and homework papers on top.  The drawers are filled with pencils, glue, watercolors, paper, glitter, crayons, flash cards, erasers, and silly bands.  I try to keep my mind in the present and toward the future but I miss you so and I sometimes don't know how I'm going to stand not to be able to talk to you as time goes on.  I want you to know Sarah Morgan and how much Jon and I love each other and her.  The years never take that missing away.  I sit writing this with tears blurring the keys in front of me.  I love you.  I need you.  I have so many questions that I need answered and you always helped guide me.  Sarah Morgan needs her Grandparents. She has people that love her, yes, greatly.  You are gone and I must go on.  We tell her about you and always will.  I just don't know how I could ever make her know how wonderful you were.  I show her pictures and tell her stories and I try to live like you taught me.  She would follow you every step I know. And I keep trying to.