Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Favorite Books

Donna's List ( Subject to change with the reading of each new book!)

1.  To Kill a Mockingbird- Nell Harper Lee
2.  The Bible-New Living Translation
3.  All Quiet on the Western Front- Erich Maria Remarque
4.  These Happy Golden Years- Laura Ingalls Wilder
5.  Redeeming Love- Francine Rivers
6.  For the Roses- Julie Garwood
7.  The Stand-Stephen King
8.  The Killer Angels- Michael Shaara
9.  All Over But the Shoutin'-  Rick Bragg
10.  Far from the Madding Crowd- Thomas Hardy



Jon's List

1.  A Christmas Carol-Charles Dickins
2.  Moby Dick-Herman Melville
3.  Ransom of Red Chief-O Henry
4.  The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaverus County- Mark Twain
5.  The Right Stuff-Tom Wolfe
6.  I Never Played the Game-Howard Cosell
7.  Instant Replay-Jerry Kramer
8.  The Love You Make- Peter Brown
9.  The Beach Boys:  heroes and Villians-Steven Gaines
10.  The Andy Griffith Show Book-Jim Clark



Sarah Morgan's List

1.  Dark Day in the Deep Sea (Magic Tree House # 39)- Mary Pope Osborne
2.  Bad Kitty Meets the Baby-Nick Bruel
3.  Christmas in Camelot (MTH #29)-Mary Pope Osborne
4.  Goodnight Moon-Margaret Wise Brown pictures by Clement Hurd
5.  My First Study Bible- Paul J. Loth Illustrated by Rob Suggs
6.  There's a Fly in My Ear- by Susan Larson illustrated by Keith Jones
7.  Dogs in the Dead of Night (MTH #46)-Mary Pope Osborne
8.  A Crazy Day with Cobras (MTH# 45)- Mary Pope Osborne
9.  Day of the Dragon King (MTH# 14)- Mary Pope Osborne
10.  Dinosaurs Befor Dark (MTH# 1)- Mary Pope Osborne



Sunday, December 25, 2011

Christmas in China

I suppose this is another day in China.  Maybe a pause of work for the weekend but no holiday.  New Year will come soon.  There will be a terrible crush in the bus and train stations as town workers try to get home one of the few times of the year they may travel back from their work places to the home sites they financially support.  I saw the train stations and bus terminals when it was just ordinary traffic and I can't imagine what it would be like during a holiday.  My thoughts turned to China today as I watched Sarah Morgan make our Christmas so wonderful.  I tried to picture her not in the orphanage but in one of the homes.  I wonder if her smile would be the same.  What was her birth Mother doing today?  Does she know where her baby is?  Does she think of her?  how many times a day?  Are there Brothers or Sisters around a table?  Surely a Grandparent.  China is so far away.  It has become my country, too. I love it and I hate it.  Will we go back?  Will she want to go? When will the really hard questions come?  I know they will.   Today was a day of believing and trust.  Santa would know to bring the right toy even if she said Mario Cars instead of Mario Kart (she worried about this) when she sat on his lap.  As she announced this morning at 6:15, Santa DID come and he brought the right one Mommy, he did!  I know though about life and I know that there were many old and young for which Santa did not come, and they are just as precious as my little one.  Where the next meal is as blessed a gift as any around our tree.  13 hours ahead they are starting the work day soon.  For us, more Christmas is on the way.  Cousins with which to PLAY!  Other Mother, she is a wonderful girl.  Good night.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Christmas Confetti

This is for Bev-the sender of that card so many years ago!


When they saw the star, they rejoiced with exceedingly great joy.-Matthew 2:10 (NKJCV)

            Upon opening the Christmas card glittering bits of green and red confetti began to drop from between the card’s pages.  With a smile I picked them up and tucked them inside the folds of the card.  This routine happened throughout the season.  Time after time as I enjoyed our collection of cards, out fell the whirling images of “Happy Holiday!” and “Merry Christmas!”   Jon and I even the cat would chase them.   

            Preparing for Christmas gatherings I displayed our cards.  I secured the wandering seasonal confetti with a strip of tape inside the card’s leaf.  As our house filled for Christmas dinner and the card display was examined, the pieces could no longer cascade down. I found myself missing the metallic wishes of good cheer.

            I learned a faith lesson.  God sends us signals of His love.  His plan is to make us notice His grace, care, and love, like the falling Christmas confetti that I had to retrieve.  Sometimes we bind up the will of God in our lives like the steps taken to place the colorful cut-outs where I thought they should stay and in doing so we miss the opportunities to react with attention, gratitude, praise, and ministry.  When we find we are missing the joy that God can bring, we are moved to pray that His Spirit can be loosed in our lives again and cause us to restore that excitement of “exceedingly great joy!”
Prayer:  God, help me recognize Your Spirit as It flutters down and into my life.  May I be attentive to respond to It with exceedingly great joy

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

The Christmas Girl

The little girl sat in between her parents. She loved it there. It was safe and a good place to look upon the surroundings, which is what she did all the time. Look. Ponder. Understand. Only her eyes moved. Everyone always praised her for being so still and so quiet. Under her carefully sewn clothes her heart beat almost out of her freshly scrubbed skin. It was the Christmas tree. It was the presents. The church was packed with people dressed in their 1960's clothing. The wooden space echoed. Nothing echoes like a wooden church, empty or full.  It was in the country but it was big.  She was five.  There was no Santa Claus she knew.  Her parents told her and she knew it was true.  They never lied.  They were there for the Christmas play and it had finished but the second act had surprised them.  They were new to these people, this congregation, and these customs. There was no escape. So when the parents understood what was to come next they had whispered in her ear, “You know there won’t be a present for you under the tree.”  The Mother said to the Father, “We should have brought something.”  He said, “Yes.”   A hand patted the little girl.  “It will be alright.” said the Father.  “Yes.” nodded the Mother.  They never lied.   The little girl resolved.  She would not cry.  She had love and God and truth.  That should be enough.  Then jingles could be heard.  The man in the suit arrived.  The laughter echoed.  It was louder than her heartbeats.   She looked at him.  He was a symbol they had told her.  She understood.  A symbol of giving.  Her head still didn’t move.  Just her eyes.  As he moved close to the tree the first tear started its journey from her eyes.  She willed it stop but it did not and others soon joined the trail until her hand was forced to move to brush them away.  Another squeeze and a pat silently said it would be OK.  They loved her so.  The children ripped and ran to show their parents and their friends their presents until there were none.  The cleanup begun. A sigh from her parents.  It was almost over.  No real damage done.  Soon she would be bundled in a warm coat with ears lovingly covered against the cold and to home at the parsonage they would go.  All would be better there as her Mother would let down the thick braids of the little girl’s long hair and brush it until it shone.  The scene was almost safely closed.  If those rebel teardrops would just obey.  They would not and the little girl forced her hands to block their flow again and again.  The man in the suit was long gone.  Then a man walking down the aisle suddenly noticed the child.  “Oh…” he said.  “Wait right here.”  Then back with a tiny package he appeared.  “Is it alright?”  He asked the parents.  “No. no” the parents replied.  “She is fine.  That is for your child we’re sure.”  “We want her to have it, please. We’re sorry, please.”  “Alright, then,” the parents said.  The little girl opened the little present with her wet fingers.  Wrapped in the tissue paper was a little white horse with a black mane.  She turned it over in her hands and looked at every small detail.   It was love at first sight!  For the first time that night she-SMILED.   The parents smiled.  The man smiled.  Those traitorous tears took flight chased away by a tiny kindness.   She held the horse all the way home.  She held it while her Mother brushed her hair.  She slept with it warm in her bed and in the morning put it on a special shelf.  Although that Yule season was over forty years ago, this Christmas when you think that a small action of kindness can’t make much difference, remember the little girl and the horse and the man.    



Monday, December 12, 2011

The Writers Work-Revision!

This is the original piece from a previous post and the latter is the revised work narrowed to 600 words for the Lulu contest.  Great practice for me.  I hope to complete the Writers Month novel in November-see archive, A Cave in China.  I think that is 50, 000 words.  Want to bet I have to trim it, too!  I don't know Mitt Romney didn't do too well with that bet thing, did he?  It is pretty bad when Rick Perry makes you look bad. 

Playing under the trees, moonshine brewing in the hills, the love, the laughter, the sadness, and the choices-it was all there in a place in Kentucky called Speck Ridge.

Speck Ridge Smoke

     The school bell rang and recess began but even before the boys and girls spilled out of the schoolhouse door the smoke would rise from the hollows close to Speck School. The cool, fresh water springing from SpeckCave was winding, heating, blending through copper, coil, and daub in an alchemy of alcohol.

As the games of squirrels in trees and ghosts in graveyards would begin with the boys, the girls would start building their houses under the big trees. The boys would whoop and holler tearing through the play houses riding their imaginary horses through the girls’ tidy rooms. The girls would shoo them out with their tree branch brooms as they’d seen their mothers do when a muddy boot dared thump on a clean floor. Some boys would see the smoke rising from the valley below and note the location as one to go wide around by unwritten law, if out hunting within the woods. Others would notice, too, and view it not as a wispy snaking cloud but as something a clan with them. A Daddy, a Brother, an Uncle’s life was signaled in those hill country smoke stacks.

The boy would separate from the rest with shouts , come on, come back, but he would venture into the woods anyway. He knew each path from here to there whether in afternoon’s dappled light or midnight’s clear black. What drew him so? Would draw him all his life? Kin, tradition, friend, foe, taste, smell, or something in him, which was waiting to make him surrender?

He’d come to his tree and lean awhile and take out his pocket knife and cut off a branch. He’d smile as he saw the heart he’d cut, SAB loves SAP. He laughed, he’d had to reach as high as he could to carve that heart, now it was barely chin high. He loved her still and always would, forever forged together as a brother to her he’d be.

His thoughts turned to the younger sister who would soon be sweeping out the dirt floor of her schoolyard house around the trees. She’d probably play the Momma with a baby on her hip. No way could he know how many in their life would be really cradled there and sadly how many times he would cause a worried brow. But, he’d always be loved right till the end. Couldn’t help but love him with that grin. As he studied in thought with a whittled sweet gum brush in his mouth of the work there would be for him to do when he got home, maybe to tote a runoff load. He’d have to do it to be a man but the boy in him would grab a hot baked sweet potato out of the stove and kiss his Momma before he’d go.

Before that though, he’d return to the well-worn playground even though he was too far away to hear the school bell ring. It wasn’t a fear of a switching that hurried him back. No, there were stories to tell, double dares to give, jokes to make, and marbles to hit. Yank a few pigtails, pull a few pranks, and to be patted on the back by many as the school bell rang. They’d all go back in after a drink with the dipper from the pail. He’d be among the last and give a glance back before he entered the shadow of the door.

Sometimes early in life we choose a path urged this way or that, good and bad; most times a mixture of both. That trail twists and turns like those steamy columns of air and he followed his as sure as Speck Ridge smoke.


Speck Ridge Smoke 

(Limit 600 Words) 1930’s, playing under the trees, moonshine brewing in the hills, the love, the laughter, the sadness, and the choices-it was all there in a place in Kentucky called Speck Ridge.

Speck Ridge Smoke

The school bell rang and recess began but before the children spilled out of the schoolhouse’s door the smoke would rise from the hollows close to Speck School. The cool, fresh water springing from Speck Cave was winding, heating, blending through copper, coil, and daub in an alchemy of alcohol.

     As the boys’ games of squirrels in trees and ghosts in graveyards would begin, the girls would start “building their houses” under the giant grove of maple and oak trees. The boys would whoop and holler on their imaginary horses tearing through the girls’ tidy playhouses. The girls, mimicking their mothers, would shoo them out with their tree branch brooms. Some boys would see the smoke rising from the valley below and they would swing wide round that dangerous mark by unwritten law. Later, they’d be hunting for the table not for trouble. Others viewed those wispy snaking clouds as something akin with them. Their folk’s means of getting by was signaled in those hill country smokestacks.

     The boy would separate from the rest. Even when thy called his name, no schoolyard urging could make him stay. He knew these woods. Each path, whether in afternoon’s dappled light or midnight’s clear black. What was there would draw him all his life.  Whether it was belonging, rite, taste, smell or something instinctive buried within him, sadly it was just waiting to make him surrender.

     He’d come to his tree, lean awhile and take out his pocketknife and cut off a branch. He would smile as he saw the heart he’d cut in its bark. His thoughts turned to the one who was sweeping out the packed earth floor of her schoolyard house. She’d be playing Momma, one of the younger ones from the one room schoolhouse, to play the baby on her hip. No way could he or she know how many would be really cradled there and sadly the times he would cause her tears and a worried brow.  Even with all the fret he would cause he’d be loved by all, right till the end. Couldn’t help but love him, that dark black hair and that grin.  He, while working a sweet gum brush in his mouth, studied with a practiced eye the volume and length of the smoke. He figured the hours and labor of the crew. Work for him to do for sure when he got home, to tote runoff loads.

     No bell, switchin’ or teacher hurried him back. It was his youth, though swiftly evaporating with each batch of sour mash steam, which still called to him to hasten back.  There were stories to tell, double dares to give, jokes to make, and marbles to hit as he sought the safety of his quickly vanishing childhood. A drink from the pail of cool unfermented water carried from Speck Cave’s spring. He’d be among the last to go in and he’d give a backward glance to the beguiling vapors that continued their rise then he’d enter the shadowed temporary shelter of the weather-beaten schoolhouse door.

     Life makes people choose a path urged this way or that. Games and dreams, love and grins can be swallowed by the monsters that dwell within and the weight of needs that tug, heavy as loaded whiskey jugs.  Life’s trail twists and turns like those steamy columns of air and he followed his as sure as Speck Ridge smoke.

Copyright © 2011 Donna Brock
All rights reserved.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

"Fret Sounds"

My husband's favorite album is Pet Sounds by the Beach Boys. His favorite band, however, is The Beatles. Their masterwork, Sergeant. Pepper's... To him the two are connected. Could not have had one without the other. I wonder if all music, art, philosophy is true to that theory. Beethoven’s ear on the piano begats Silent Night sung by a children's choir in church tonight. Tonight-look-at-the-clock morning, for me, I long for fret sounds, the sounds made by guitarists as they move their fingers on the strings. Those noises are edited out in most music today with some super incredible electronic device that can also make Lady Gaga sing on key. I miss the scratching needle on vinyl at the same time I love being able to call up any song I can search on youtube-ahhhh.  I guess that is why I always stick with Dylan.  He’s heard it all; the sounds in Brian Wilson’s head, the Beatles licks, sticks, and tricks, Guthrie’s fret sounds, and talked with the MAN who laid his hand on Beethoven’s bent head.  As the years roll around Bob’s voice grinds the needle a little deeper in the groove till he can barely make a sound recognized as singing.  In recent years he’s turned to the accordion, and I think it’s just so he can hear that squeeze- box’s buttons clack.  Tom Petty once said that he and the Heartbreakers made a certain noise that no one else in the world could make.  That must be like what God hears when we pray.
Said the little lamb to the shepherd boy,
"Do you hear what I hear?
Ringing through the sky, shepherd boy,
Do you hear what I hear?
A song, a song high above the trees
With a voice as big as the sea,
With a voice as big as the sea."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LcWl20c1Wmk


Saturday, November 26, 2011

Terminating My Tilting

I have spent too much of my life fighting the giants. I'm putting down my sword and savoring the scenery with my Sancho's!
By the way, Don Quixote is a free download for kindle from Amazon!

Just then they came in sight of thirty or forty windmills that rise from that plain. And no sooner did Don Quixote see them that he said to his squire, "Fortune is guiding our affairs better than we ourselves could have wished. Do you see over yonder, friend Sancho, thirty or forty hulking giants? I intend to do battle with them and slay them. With their spoils we shall begin to be rich for this is a righteous war and the removal of so foul a brood from off the face of the earth is a service God will bless."
"What giants?" asked Sancho Panza.
"Those you see over there," replied his master, "with their long arms. Some of them have arms well nigh two leagues in length."
"Take care, sir," cried Sancho. "Those over there are not giants but windmills. Those things that seem to be their arms are sails which, when they are whirled around by the wind, turn the millstone."

Monday, November 21, 2011



Devil's Advocate in Response to Coloring for Fun

Thanks Cauffeemamma for the encouraging comments on Coloring for Fun. For future readers, I guess I'm used to an attack on my ideas about education so I thought I would attack first myself. A lot of people might think that it is the very "waste of time" of which I wrote about in Coloring for Fun that brought on the "needed" changes in education. Too much relaxation, too much fluff, too much freedom of choice in curriculum, no uniformity in teaching made us fall behind. Fall behind on testing. I would agree with that-yes, on testing, but I will NOT agree to falling behind on learning. I learn new ways of teaching in every class I visit. I have learned literally thousands of things about teaching from books, principals, technology, younger teachers, older teachers, other subject teachers, students, books, trial and error, video, workshops, youth groups, service clubs, my own child, my family, my friends, ministers, and the list goes on. Almost every teacher I know wants to learn something new everyday. Few I have met are stagnant.  I really miss the idea of how teachers got to be the boggeyman of the country. Before testing was the end game in education my students knew world events better than most adults, knew the world’s countries and capitals and their location almost up to the minute changing in the map weekly. They could draw, create, research; they visited the library often and for varied purposes. We had computer projects, inter-disciplinary units, almost "college” level research papers. They wrote often and well and in varied forms. They could write a limerick, haiku, quatrains, and many other poetic forms as well as a five paragraph essay. They could outline, they could write in cursive, type on the keyboard, and even learned calligraphy. They had English Teas, Chinese Stir Fry, Egyptian date balls, they constructed pyramids, dug for artifacts, made castles and shields, created mosaics, read novels, wrote reports, read and read and read some more. And they colored! Yes, I ran off map after map after map because I wanted them to handle any map they would ever see for the rest of their life and I hoped that those real life maps would take them into the big world that they were trying to understand. Then came the test and one by one almost all those things began to disappear. My scores went up and _____________ went down. I'll leave you to fill in the blank.  I heard Gov. Haslam asked the teachers and adminisrators to just be patient for a year and anything that needed to be fixed in Race to the Top and the new evaulation system would be taken care of.  I witnessed how things were taken care of during the summer of 2011.  If you trust the Gov. on this one, I have some land holdings in Yemen I'd like to talk to you about.  Don't know where Yemen is?  Don't worry, it's not on the test!

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Coloring for FUN!

Sarah Morgan, my daughter, brought home her "first place" coloring contest picture with her other school work this weekend. I had heard about this "feat" for several days. She said that she got first place and told me who got second and third place and that she got a piece of candy as a prize even though she said, now it wasn't from the whole school, Momma, but just from Mrs. Hester's room and Momma it was for Veteran’s Day, do you know about that Momma, well, it was just in her class but I got first place. When Sarah Morgan talks, you don't have to use too much punctuation because she speaks in run on sentences. Hemingway can pull off a page with only one period but for SM and me, we just run on! Anyway, needless to say when she showed it to me I did ooo and awwww quite a bit. She said that it wasn't "scribble-scramble," Mrs. Hester's very sweet way of saying messy and she showed me it did have a 1st marked right on the top-but remember Momma only in Mrs. Hester's class. She was also so proud of her glittery spider web from Mrs. Jackson, her art teacher. Her Daddy asked her if she wanted us to tape them up on our official "door display" but she said no we had better not and just put them safely in her scrapbook. She was proud of her math, her spelling, her reading, her writing and all the other things that she and Mrs. Hester work so hard on each day but it was that little coloring contest that really made her day. I imagine those kinds of things are quickly disappearing from the Tennessee classroom.  For years when I taught in sixth grade we used to have a coloring contests for each holiday, Easter baskets and chicks, flowers and hearts, cats on spiky fences, the best witch picture ever with a big apron just the right size for a child’s poem, Santa with his long list, cornucopias with fruits and vegetables (Mrs. Brock is that an apple?  No, I think it is a pomegranate, Well, what color are they?), and of course snowmen. We would usually have a book that one of the teachers would read to the whole bunch of the students as they all sat together, a student might read a poem they wrote or give an oral report about a holiday celebrated far away or long ago.  We'd read about St. Valentine, St. Patrick, Rosa Parks, and Ukrainian Easter Eggs.  We'd decorate the halls and give out little candies for participating or a little bigger prize for the "winners." It used up paper and copy ink, it wasted time, it matched no standard, the kids weren’t doing anything productive, they just talked and colored and the teachers relaxed, too, maybe even grabbed a cup of hot chocolate or coffee and graded a paper or two while the kids colored, no RIGOR in the classroom to be found. Some didn’t like to color so they read that book they couldn’t wait to get to or watched their friend color and offered suggestions.  Sometimes we’d try an “anticoloring” book picture for the ones who didn’t want to always stay in the lines and to tell you the truth a lot of contest winners were those who added an “out-of-the-lines” touch to their “ditto”(I know that is a nasty word) picture. They always had colors, coloring pencils, and markers and if they didn't they borrowed from each other. Mrs. Davidge, our assistant, always kept up with our favorite master copies, taped up the entries, got to hear and pass along all the compliments the kids got for their displays, had fun watching the kids look at each others' art, got the art teacher or other interested party to judge, and announced the winners over the intercom to come to her table in the hallway to hand out the awards! We went slower then. Everything in school goes so fast now. I can't keep up. I think I'll go color for awhile.



By the way someone else must love to color, too. There are thousands of coloring sites out there-easy or difficult, printable or on-line. 
 

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

A Cave in China

This writing project idea came to me in a dream. In fact the cave had a name which when I awoke I said I would remember but as many other times with dreams if I didn't write the inspiration down it leaves. I just remember it had something to do with a cave and Christianity. It was linked in my dream to the caves in which the early follows of The Way worshipped. As I got up and ready for my day other ideas began n to form around the setting. This is the way I usually write. I call it the snowball effect. I roll an idea around in my head until I have enough linked ideas to form it into a story. Like rolling a snowball downhill and seeing it grow larger and larger. When it finally forms then I try to write. I write phrases as fast as I can and then leave them for a while to ferment into something. Cauffeemama says I'm a good story teller :) That made me feel really good. My Mama would be pleased because her family has kind of a knack for telling stories. I loved hearing her sisters and her together telling old stories. My Dad's family also loves a good story and there are several that we tell on each other every time we get together. Anyway, I think most of my writing is just that-relating a story, experience, or memory I've had and then recording it in written word. This story idea seems different. I have been thinking more about writing pure fiction so maybe that was why I was dreaming about Christian caves in China. Her are the ideas for the start of my "snowball":

A cave system in remote China

Christian Tourist group

secret missionary twist to why they "think they are there"- in other words they were seeking to do some type of covert missionary actions( extremely dangerous by the way in China) while there and they think at first that is the reason for their trip but God "expands" their mission in ways that confound them.

There is an old man

He is their guide into the caves which are on the official tour

It is a well known ancient site for tourism however remote

It has been known as a "palace" of sorts for one of the kingly dynasties of early China (prince/king/ palace/ cave will be linked to the ideas of Jesus birth in a cave/ His titles as prince, etc.)

Somehow in the plot we find out that as the Old Man guides the tour and separates the group into a hidden and protected area that he is the guardian of the long hidden history of Christianity in China and that this cave is really the "Dead Sea Scrolls" type depository of Chinese anquities of Christian faith importance.  This will eb difficult, clashing cultures and religious ideas, set in the time of the Boxer Rebellion.  European prejudice will have to be shown truthfully along with the activites both good and bad of the church.  Research will need to be done on Catholic saints' work from this era.  Chinese Christianity had battles against many foes from within and without.

The group thinks that they will have to smuggle out the material but surprisingly the "treasure" is found within the memories of 12( link to12 disciples) little Chinese girls who are orphans and they have memorized the history and are the "living" thread that must be secreted out through China.  This will be a segment that must address Chinese adpotion policies.  The past and future of Chinese orphan girls and the shutdown that happened in 2005 in International Chinese adoption.

The old man becomes a martyr himself to save the group and the children

The group's struggle to freedom

The relationship that builds with the group and the little girls

Translation of little girls' memories from Mandarin into Greek and then into English

The adoption of the girls

The final surprise of the hidden artifact

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Marie Curie in the Middle School

I subbed today in science class at the middle school with sixth graders.  We watched a film about Marie Curie and followed the important meaning found in the movie through a teacher-prepared viewer guide.  I really enjoyed the movie (even 5 times.)  This woman was such a hero.  I had forgotten that it was World War I era and not World War II.  She and her late husband broke such ground in the field of diagnostic medicine with their use of applied radium for X-rays developing machines that could use tubes to X-ray and even treat people.  They forwarded the scientific world's knowledge of elements and wide use of those elements.  Sadly, they had to fight the military, scientific boards, prejudice, and the government to make their finds useful.  What more they could have done if they had been backed and believed.  Curie won two Noble prizes, never sought to profit from her work, lost her beloved husband to an accident, and lost her life to leukemia, induced by radiation exposure.  It made me wonder during this day that I worked what scientists stood in labs around the world searching, searching, searching for ways, cures, discoveries, methods, medicines, codes, and equations that could better our world.  This is for the them-you are heroes.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Oh, Vertigo, When Will You Let Me GO GO?

Yes, it is hard to dance, get Halloween costumes ready, go to church, shave your legs, etc. with this crazy feeling in your ears.  Back to the doc I go, go tomorrow.  I'll try to carve Sarah Morgan's pumpkin today but Dad will have to man the trunk or treat mobile.  Enjoying Jennie and Nancy's blogs.  Read Persepolis and on to Maus I.  My first full length graphic novel completed.  I was struck by the rawness of the form.  It captured the girl's, main charaters,  growing up Iranian in a way that words just could not have alone.  I compare it to Diary of Ann Frank, a masterpiece of its own, and the way it charts the girl's movement through madness all around her.  I've always tried to understand that period in the Middle East's history and now I understand that as a Westerner I probably can't, not with true depth, but this novel gave me a look into Iran at present that will really help me when I hear Iranian stories in our "news."

Thursday, October 27, 2011

China Adoption Group Reunion: From There to Here



This is much too fresh for me to write about yet but I feel I must while the senses are fresh with the feelings and images and sounds of the event.  For our family this was the first time in 6 years that the group with which we adopted our daughter was together minus three families.  These are the people that shared the experience of adoption with us the 14 days we where in China.  Upon arriving at the gathering house Sarah Morgan all but disappeared, hand-in-hand, with her crib mate she did not remember as they were adopted as near-16 month old children.  That didn't seem to matter.  The girls played together like they were neighborhood friends who shared the same backyards, swing sets, and classrooms everyday of their lives.  They were-connected!  Our group, the adults, come from all over the country, are vastly different than one another, have different amounts of children and family blends, but we all seem -connected!  It makes me think that if we could all think of ourselves as adopted, grafted together as one Dad said as we all tried to pose for a picture, "one whole crazy group,"  the whole world would feel more-connected!  Imagine the TEA Partyers  and the Occupy Wall Street Group-connected!  The Democrats and the Republicans-connected!  The rich and the poor-connected! The Muslims, Jews, Christians-connected!  The pacifists and the terrorists-connected!  Utopia-no.  Anarchy-maybe.  Impossible-probably.  Good?  Bad?  One could also make the argument,  it is sameness and shared experience and oneness of motive that really is the connection maker.  The long straight black locks of hair, the dark eyes that disappear in giggles, the finding of love caused by the sacrifice of abandonment.  And that "whole crazy group" might fight like cats and dogs except for the similarity of our union with our "forever child."  I mean one season of MTV's The Real World, Housewives of fill-in-the-blank with a city name, Survivor, or Big Brother and you know that Rodney King can ask all day, "Can't we all just get along?" and we can pretty much answer with a 99.9% accuracy-NO. I told you, it was too soon to write this.  I've already edited it three times.   I don't know, but I do know a group of 13 Chinese "sisters"  who could teach the world a thing or two about the "family of humanity" and if you are a believer, the "family of God."

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

On Being Alone

  My friend recently blogged about being alone and being in a group or a partnership/marriage. I thought I would reflect on this subject in my blog.  I was alone quite a lot during my life. I was an only child. We moved a lot. I loved my friends and my parents and my family and the people in our churches but they were not always there. My Parents had between six and eight churches most of the time when I was young-less when I was older. Daddy worked at carpentry, grew a garden, Momma canned and sewed to make ends meet.  They studied for their services for hours preparing to preach or teach, prayed and visited in the community, hospitals, and funeral homes many times a week. It was "our normal."  They loved me dearly and provided for me in a way that is a miracle, really.  They were different, Mom fiery and determined, not to be messed with, but great with a story and could make something out of almost nothing.  Daddy was quiet, strong, stubborn, smiling.  Mom worried about everything.  Daddy didn't worry.  Mom was careful.  Daddy pushed the edge.  How fast would the car go-he would find out.  I was caught in the middle a lot.  Between them.  Between the world against my Mother ( many hated her for being a minister, don't think so-ask someone even today about female preachers and see what they say) and the burden they both carried for the churches.  That burden became my burden very early in my life.  That is a lonely life for a little girl. My family lived mostly in Kentucky and Indiana and we only saw them a few times a year. I am still friends with my best friend from childhood. We met when I was 5 I think but we only shared three years of school together and then visited as often as we could from then-our families being close friends. I loved the church people I met and their presence in my life really filled in a lot of interest in how people are different. I have always loved the differences in people. I think that is my favorite thing -how people are so alike and how they are so different. My friend Marie who is one of the strongest women I have ever met and who has overcome more hurt than almost anyone I know and remains an optimist, laughs when I tell her I find most people beautiful, but I do. I wish I could find myself beautiful but I haven't gotten there yet. I played a lot by myself and learned a lot about being alone. It would be different now. I rode my bike and later my motorcycle everywhere. I explored the fields and countryside. I stayed outside playing any kind of ball I could find. I practiced my bat swing and pitch for hours at a time. I would get a rubber ball and pitch it against the concrete walls of the garage for hours at a time. I later did this with a tennis ball using my racket to play the "US Open, etc" in my mind for thousands of hits. Now I won't even let Sarah Morgan out in the yard without me to watch her. She asked me one day if she could just go around the mini barn and meet me on the other side of the house-I realized how close a watch I keep on her-but my friend Carol is a detective and she works a lot of OVERTIME trying to keep women and the elderly and children safe so I know who can be out there in the world to do irreversible harm. I must get Sarah Morgan more opportunities to be with other kids and freedom outside and open the world for her more. I married at 29 years old so I had several years on my own. I lived alone for a while. My college friends I call the sisters and I traveled all over the country camping along the way and I could never understand why my Mom was so worried. I understand now! I couldn't get up from the sleeping bag the next day if I tried camping today but my friends and I still travel and they have accepted Jon as a brother. One of them married after me and we accepted Daniel as a brother. I love them all so much. They took much of my loneliness away. The other two are single and a great inspiration to me. They are confident, beautiful, well-read and well traveled. We all love history and places and books and movies and restaurants, and did I mention BOOKS! I have learned the most probably from the women with which I have worked. They are a unique breed, they are tough and gentle and everything in between that any situation calls for. They have taught me about being a mother, a teacher, loyalty and friendship. Old and young I love them for what they bring to the table of life. Then there is Jon, my husband. He is everything I love and need. He is genuine, gentle, kind, funny, self denying, hard working, and so very loving. He thinks I'm beautiful and tells me that every day. He tells me one of his greatest desires is for me to see myself one day through his eyes-I hope I can someday. We are pretty well "joined at the hip." I depend on him too much I think.  I don’t mind eating out alone or going to a movie alone.  Travel-that would be hard for me.  I don’t drive as well as I used to and flying is really hard for me to do.  I was the bodyguard on those camping trips seeing the USA all those years ago. I carried the baseball bat and slept with it by my side in our tent each night. I grew up with guns but don't carry one. My Father wouldn't even let me play cowboys and Indians cause he said you can't even play like you are shooting someone. He impressed on me gun safety and responsibility. He always said never pick up a weapon that you don't intend to use-OR have used on you. That gives you pause. If asked wouldn't he protect his family with one of his guns he would always answer-I don't know what I'd do until I was in that situation. I kinda feel the same way and hope I never have to find out. It's funny though I would have been kicked out of school for zero tolerance because I always carried a pocket knife in my purse. My Father gave me several that I treasure and I have purchased several throughout my life. I just never thought of them as a weapon but just another tool. That wouldn't work today, would it? Anyway, I think the world is a very hard place for a woman alone and I think the single mothers and grandmothers of the world are the most courageous group of people in the world. I think then that economics is rough on women, also-tougher than men-I just do. Lastly, on being alone-some of the most aloneness I have ever felt came when I was in a crowd of people. When I was shy or misunderstood or different or whatever. Most of the alienation came from my own mind but it is a terrible aloneness. During those times I have always sought God. God has always been there for me. The ray of hope, the thing I leaned on, the thing I trusted, the thing in which I believed-not understood but believed. Sometimes He seemed so far away but I still had faith that He was indeed near and I trusted in that I could not see or feel until I could feel it again.  I know there will probably come a time in life when I am alone again.  I hope I have the wisdom to live it and not fear it.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Other Mother



I don't think I've ever written about Sarah Morgan's birth mother.  This weekend the group of couples with which we traveled to China are meeting for a 6 year reunion in Goodlettsville.  They will be coming from all around the country.  Sarah Morgan's crib mate  is coming from Dallas with her parents.  I have a love for Sarah Morgan's birth mother but also a great detachment.  I feel no anger toward her and I feel a vague love for her that is very hard to describe.  It is tinged with feelings that don't accompany any other love I feel.  In other words I feel differently about her than any other person in my life.  She is there in my life but undefined.  I think of her in the most routine of time not on Mother's Day or Chinese New Year or near Sarah Morgan's birth date.   I sometimes scan Sarah Morgan's face, her features, the speech patterns, her tendencies, her body parts-fingers and toes and wonder the features given by the other Mother.  I often tell Sarah Morgan I can't believe God put that much cute on one person-then I start at her toes and go up saying-toes-yes, cute, ankles, heels, shin-yes, all cute,  until she giggles and we hug.  Her other Mother must be beautiful.  I don't feel the same about her Father or the family-why do I put all the positives of Sarah Morgan on her Mother?  She could have been selfish, or mean, or unfeeling but I won't let her be.  I think it was how I saw women in China-at the mercy of-everything-family, men, economics, class, poverty, alienation, history, government, law, tradition.  Sarah Morgan's records only say that she was a newborn when found by a caretaker at the city gate.  They named the day they found her as her birth date.  That would mean that her other Mother had to have given birth to her and then the same day get the baby to the gate.  Could she have done this by herself?  Would she have been able?  Did someone make her do it?  Was it the plan?  Did someone else take the baby for her, from her?  It is against the law to abandon in China, of course it is against the plan of the government to have too many children-the paradox of China-believe me-not the only one.  The other Mother probably has or will have other children.  Sarah Morgan probably has siblings.  They could be anywhere in the world or in her home town or in the busy cities where families send their young to work in the urban factories that churn out our blue jeans and Christmas decorations.  Sarah Morgan would not have had enough status to even be sent to work in one of the live-in factories.  What would she have done?  I think of the female beggars who grabbed our suitcases at the Beijing airport and tried to run with them to our van to gather a few cents from us for their efforts and who had to be roughly moved away by our guide and made to let go of the luggage.  We had been only on Chinese soil a few minutes then. Sarah Morgan is a survivor, She would have made it but at what cost?  Sarah Morgan moves like my Mother and sometimes when she jokes she looks like my aunt, so I must move and look that way and not realize it.  She loves to collect rocks and build things-a very my Father's family-like thing to do.  It is like a university experiment about environment vs heredity played out each day within Sarah Morgan.  No, I don't have the answer.  It is so strange though that I know we, Jon, Sarah Morgan and I were meant to be together.  I don't know how but I KNOW it.  Why are our parents gone when she needs them so much in her life? Why this timing?  I don't know.  Do I worry about how old we will be and how young she will be?  Yes, even though you would think that after everything I would trust God to deal with that.  On Friday I will be surrounded with flowing blue black hair and smiles, and girl giggles and I will meet again the only people to have shared the same experience we did.  Who were there to hear the screams as they placed Sarah Morgan in our arms.  The bus rides, the plane trips, the food, the smells, the fear, the heat, the laughter, the awe, the miracle.  I'm sure each of us will carry some thought of the other Mothers with us.  As the world grows smaller I may one day see another face that is my daughter's and find that she is much like me.
This is a recent self-portrait completed by Sarah Morgan for her guidance class.  When she brought it home I thought , wow, that looks so much like the image of the "Other Mother" I had made.



Click to enlarge poem to read.

Click to enlarge to read

Saturday, October 15, 2011

The People You Meet

One of my favorite weekends is Bell Buckle Craft Fair. Over the years I have enjoyed this event so much. Today was my first day to feel healthy in awhile and the sunshine, friends, art, and the people really was the best tonic. I got to see one of my favorite fabric artists again. A very sweet lady who does yarn work in the Portugese style. She said it is a vanishing art. She is always surprised to win a ribbon. Her wonderful demeanor and beautiful colors of yarn work made me feel like we were old friends. I didn't hold up long walking but enjoyed people and dog watching and soaking up the October sun. Maybe I'll start drawing again some as well as writing.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Another "Fish" Story

 
Another time fishing with my Father we went far back along the Tennessee River fishing along the slues that flooded the marshy area.  I define a slue fishing hole as one to which you must drive a 1960 Dodge four door sedan on a “road” comprised of at least five holes of water that cover the path with increasing levels of water that rise from somewhere around mid door to just below the windows of the car but the car does continue to run after passing through the miry pools and no noticeable water leaks into the floorboards.  Why did we not have a truck you might ask, because my folks were preachers and they had to have a car so the carpenter truck was the car (with a ladder tied on the top and the backend of a truck that had been made into a trailer hooked on the back), the funeral procession leader was the car, and the fishing and hunting vehicle was the car.  My Mother was 4 feet 10 inches tall and couldn’t get in a truck.
 Anyway, back to the slue.  When we arrived we parked and baited, sent out our lines.  Night clawers, crickets, raw chicken livers were are usual bait and sometimes we seined for minnows in a creek before we went fishing and kept them in our minnow bucket.  It just depended on what was biting.  On this particular day I don’t remember it being bad or good fishing so I imagine we were catching some.  We would stop to eat.  Now, today I would GermEx  Sarah Morgan’s hands like preparing for surgery but then we just washed off in the slue water, shook off the wet and opened the cans of Vienna sausages and ripped apart the cracker sleeve and drove into it with our fingers.  Fishing makes you starving! That is not properly written but that is what it makes you. We would drink from a big thermos of ice cold water that Daddy took when he was out working or in the outdoors.  He would drink from the thermos and I’d drink from the cap and he would always say, awwww, nothing quiches your thirst like water, good, old water.  Then he’d smile and wipe his mouth with the back of his hand.  I often wonder what he would think of all the bottled water people buy and drink today.  After eating and toward afternoon, one of the lines started getting some action.  I don’t remember whose pole it was but I started reeling it in-something felt big on the other end and then it felt wrong-the line went slack not loose off just changed.  The catch was still on but the momentum had-switched.  I watched as that line came toward the bank and me without me cranking that reel an inch.  Then from out of that murky water came a reptilian running on all fours.  As it ran past me I saw its yardstick long slimy silhouette black inky body and tail head over the rocks and into the woods.  Before the line could tighten, Daddy cut it and the overgrown snaky salamander slithered away-which was pretty much where I’d hoped it would go.  Open mouthed I looked at the spot where it came from the water and then retraced its path to where it disappeared and then I looked at my Dad.  I expected a like look from him but all he said was, Waterdog.   I said what?  Waterdog.   That was a waterdog.   I looked at him again and blinked my eyes and over the years I have fashioned in my mind the question I formed in that look.  You mean to tell me that in all these years we’ve been fishing, in all these places so far off the beaten path we’ve been together, and in all the things we’d seen you knew about this creature and you hadn’t thought to tell me that one day I might just pull something out of the water that could motor onto dry land on its own. That might have been a piece of information that could have helped in this situation. But I didn’t ask.  He wouldn’t have gotten mad-it was just his way.  Momma said the Massengales were like that, they talked and then they didn’t.  I’m sort of like that myself.  Sarah Morgan and I were watching one of those shows were the haggard looking fisherman travels the globe trying to hook mythical prey.  This show was about a creature that was written about and was the subject of tribal art but very vaguely reported.  So we watch until the last five minutes of the show and low and behold the guy caught it.  A waterdog!  An Asiatic Waterdog.  Sarah Morgan looked up at me in disbelief that such a living thing existed.  I said, yes, I caught one once upon a time.  I’ve got to take that girl fishing! 

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Another Snippet

Lots of fishing stories I could tell.  First, I refuse to watch Hillbilly Hand Fishing.  This reality series takes noodlers, hand fishing experts, who skillfully catch catfish by hand, underwater, in the species’ hiding holes, fisher’s head under the water for several moments at a time, until said fish hooks on to the hand of the fisherman, and then wrestles large fish to the surface. Then these guides take group of virgin hand fishers into the river for a noodling experience. After a childhood spent trying not to get stung, bitten, eaten, or infected I simply don’t have the patience for people in muddy river water teaching someone who’s never even been in the country to stick their fingers, or worse in a hole on the banks of that river and wait for whatever might want to hook on to them to sink mouth, teeth, fangs, or jaws into the waiting appendage.   Not to mention drowning-the banks and bottoms of a river are unforgiving, an underwater jungle of twisting silt covered ooze that refuses to be gripped and secured for salvation.  And about the time you find that out-it’s too late.  OK, what brought that on? A childhood of being surprised at what one can pull out, run from, or fight off what comes from the South’s ponds, lakes, and rivers.  I have a healthy respect for that element of surprise.



1.   Caution should be maintained when reaching down to unhook a low hanging trotline hook.  (A trotline is a series of hooks on one line placed across the river set out baited and accessed by johnboat.) 

2.   A snapping turtle pulled from a trotline into your boat multiples in size and strength directly equal to length or lack of length of the boat in which you ride and how fast one of you can get to an oar.

3.  Water snakes will not swim away from you, they will stalk you.  I was stalked by a water moccasin once for about an hour.  It singled me out on the bank where I was sitting under a branch fishing and swam right for me.  I of course gave up my position and it swam around the area and went up in the branches a while before it returned to the water.  I then returned awhile later to a spot a little above the spot and here came the snake again.  This time I relieved myself to the low water bridge where my Father was fishing with a smile on his face.  Is he after you, Donna Kay, Daddy said?  I said it seemed like it to me.  We had a little laugh.  Then this snake comes swimming up the channel straight toward me.  He swims right up under where I’m standing and he reaches his neck out of the water about 4 inches high-I didn’t even know a snake could do that.  That snake neck and head started swaying back and forth.  Daddy said, Donna Kay, I think he’s trying to figure how to get up to you.  I picked up a rock and threw it at the snake hoping to scare it away and believe it or not I hit the thing right on the head and killed it-it went limp in the water belly side up.  We were stunned.  I threw as a big rock as I could throw on to it and it must have sunk it because we never saw it again.

More fish stories tomorrow-that one made me tired.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Snippet

I’m a tender of graves.

I’m a keeper of secrets.
I’m a teller of stories few care to hear.
I’m a teacher who has lost her way.
I’m a writer who is still seeking her craft.
I’m a prayer with an answer unknown.
I’m a Christian with faith that God gives me through song.
I’m a friend, kin, wife and mother with a love so strong.
Will the gold of my past endure or will it turn brass?
Will the soul of my present find joy in a world it doesn’t know?
Will my future be wise with lessons learned on the way?
Who will be with me in those final days?
Will I gather them round me then-the secrets, and the stories, the prayers, the Loves, and the songs-the gold of the past, the joy of the soul, and in finality, the lessons learned as the Master leads me
Home?   


Today a snap shot story and then maybe another one tomorrow:

The researchers and biologists say they don't exist, not in the Eastern woodlands, at least. Folklore. The Black Panther. The cat that screams like a woman at night. I never heard one cry but my Father said he had in his boyhood and as far as I know he never lied about anything. But, I saw one.

We were hunting. I was young, preteen. I don't remember what forest but I know we were in the deep woods because Daddy had said he'd better mark our way in because if he got turned around a person could walk for acres out here and not find a way out. That's why I think it was a black panther. I would have written it off as the feral cousin of some long ago domesticated black tom cat but we were just too far back.

We had come to a clearing and paused to rest. Then from above and to my left abit came a rustling from the branches of a tree.  I turned in time to see a compact black form drop straight down.  It was the sound that convinced more than anything.  That black shape hit the duff of leaves with a tremendous thud.  This was no sound connected to the twisting flex of a house or barn cat collecting itself in free fall to land lightly on its paws.  This thud was all solid power. Like a boxer’s punch it had hit the ground.  It stayed low but the speed was incredible.  At no time did I feel scared because I sensed that in that living thing’s DNA it wanted more away from me than I could imagine.  Don’t get me wrong, it didn’t run away scared, it just decided to be there and the next second it decided to be gone.  Maybe that’s why people say they are myth.  Things might have been different if it had been dusk, certainingly different if it had been dark, but then, we would not have been in THOSE woods at night, not unless things had gone very badly, indeed.  I remember looking at my Father and asking him if he saw it.  He said, yes, he had.  Was it a panther, the black cat?  Sure looked like it he said.  We retraced the happenings for a moment to commit it to memory, cause we never could remember the details of a story the way my Mother could and then we moved on.  Times dwindled with my Father in the woods as I grew up.  Now I rarely even enter a copse of trees.  I miss it. 

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Saturday Night

Sinus and ear problems are better but the beautiful weather and time of year pulls me to come outside and play.  I MUST be good a few more days!  I hate to miss church again but I'm going to be quite again tomorrow at home and just rest and let the medicine have a catch to clear this up.  I have longed for Jon to be able to tell be exactly what pitch this ringing in my ear is on?  I will be glad when that symptom is GONE!  I want to get ready to go to Bell Buckle next week but the biggest date is our adoption groups 6th reunion in Goodlettsville in two weeks.  The 13 couples that adopted in China together are spending a weekend together with the girls!  I'm sure it will be emotional and thrilling.  Sarah Morgan and her crib mate, Savannah, for the first 16 months of her life will get to be together-she is from Texas.  Our group shared a unique and wonderful experience together those first weeks in China that really will always bind us together.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Jobs of My Father

Tenant Farmer

8 mule team driver

Rolling Mill Worker

Dairy Farm Laborer

Orange Grove Smudger

Guano Factory Worker

Construction Worker

Carpenter

Grave Digger

Minister

Evangelist

Pastor

and probably manying more I do not remember.  I lost my Father to cancer in 1992.  He would have been 100 years old this year.  I miss him so much.  We were so close and could almost talk without speaking.  Just putting an arm around my shoulders during my teenage years could drive the sadness away.  We fished, hunted, worked, together for hours and hours, days and days, and weeks and weeks.  He was a wonderful man and I love and admire him more and more each day.  He taught me so much in the time we had together.  He got to know Jon, my husband, and be with us our first 3 years of marriage.  He treated and loved Jon like a son.  I'm so glad we could share just that short amount of time.  I wish my daughter could be with him.  He had children follow him around all the time.  He was that kind of man, they naturally loved him and felt safe, protected, and loved in his presence.  He had a great zeal for life.  A powerful faith and an amazing understanding and love of nature.  Thanks, Daddy.


Thursday, October 6, 2011

Speck Ridge Smoke: A Blend of Stories about a Schoolyard in Rural Kentucky as Told by my Mother

Playing under the trees, moonshine brewing in the hills, the love, the laughter, the sadness, and the choices-it was all there in a place in Kentucky called Speck Ridge.

Speck Ridge Smoke



The school bell rang and recess began but even before the boys and girls spilled out of the schoolhouse door the smoke would rise from the hollows close to Speck School. The cool, fresh water springing from Speck Cave was winding, heating, blending through copper, coil, and daub in an alchemy of alcohol.

As the games of squirrels in trees and ghosts in graveyards would begin with the boys, the girls would start building their houses under the big trees.  The boys would whoop and holler tearing through the play houses riding their imaginary horses through the girls’ tidy rooms.  The girls would shoo them out with their tree branch brooms as they’d seen their mothers do when a muddy boot dared thump on a clean floor.  Some boys would see the smoke rising from the valley below and note the location as one to go wide around by unwritten law, if out hunting within the woods.  Others would notice, too, and view it not as a wispy snaking cloud but as something a clan with them.  A Daddy, a Brother, an Uncle’s life was signaled in those hill country smoke stacks.

The boy would separate from the rest with shouts , come on, come back, but he would venture into the woods anyway.  He knew each path from here to there whether in afternoon’s dappled light or midnight’s clear black.  What drew him so?  Would draw him all his life?  Kin, tradition, friend, foe, taste, smell, or something in him, which was waiting to make him surrender? 

He’d come to his tree and lean awhile and take out his pocket knife and cut off a branch.  He’d smile as he saw the heart he’d cut, SAB loves SAP.  He laughed, he’d had to reach as high as he could to carve that heart, now it was barely chin high.  He loved her still and always would, forever forged together as a brother to her he’d be. 

His thoughts turned to the younger sister who would soon be sweeping out the dirt floor of her schoolyard house around the trees.  She’d probably play the Momma with a baby on her hip.  No way could he know how many in their life would be really cradled there and sadly how many times he would cause a worried brow.  But, he’d always be loved right till the end.  Couldn’t help but love him with that grin.  As he studied in thought with a whittled sweet gum brush in his mouth of the work there would be for him to do when he got home, maybe to tote a runoff load.  He’d have to do it to be a man but the boy in him would grab a hot baked sweet potato out of the stove and kiss his Momma before he’d go.

Before that though, he’d return to the well-worn playground even though he was too far away to hear the school bell ring.  It wasn’t a fear of a switching that hurried him back.  No, there were stories to tell, double dares to give, jokes to make, and marbles to hit.  Yank a few pigtails, pull a few pranks, and to be patted on the back by many as the school bell rang.  They’d all go back in after a drink with the dipper from the pail.  He’d be among the last and give a glance back before he entered the shadow of the door.

Sometimes early in life we choose a path urged this way or that, good and bad; most times a mixture of both.  That trail twists and turns like those steamy columns of air and he followed his as sure as Speck Ridge smoke.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

My response to the book and movie, THE HELP.


These are two poems I wrote years ago but I was reminded of them after reading the novel, The Help, and then seeing the movie.  The novel did touch me but the movie settled.  It could have done so much MORE!  It kept to the safe laugh, hinted at the danger, and minimized the evil of racism.  I was a child a little older than Maybelle's age in the sixties but even I knew the dangers that hummed along the color lines.  Anyway, here are the poems.


Praying for Dr. King



            You wouldn’t think praying would be a scary thing to do, but I remember being scared to death this day Daddy prayed. 

            We bowed our heads and closed our eyes, but men began moving. I’d been taught not to look around during times of prayer and I kept to that rule not out of fear of doing something wrong but for the reverence of doing something right. With eyes still closed I knew something was wrong.  From all sides they came.  I felt the air they stirred as they brushed by me at my seat near the aisle.

            I knew what he had said up there in the pulpit, that we should all be in prayer for Dr. King lay dead and his followers were beside themselves with grief and that this was a day of prayer that although the leader had died for his message to live.  That was not what a white preacher in a small rural church on the Tennessee-Alabama border was supposed to be praying about in 1968.  I was only eight, but even I knew that.

            He prayed anyway as the people left and when I did open my eyes there were just a few of us left, mostly the women and the children.  My Daddy didn’t look surprised, or mad, or sad.  He looked like he always looked; that everything was going to be alright look.  Not safe but alright. It was a humble, contented, steady look.  One that let me know how serious the situation was, that he was prepared to go on whatever the cost and that decision included me whom he loved so dear, his only child. He preached his sermon, of which I remember not one word.  How we were treated on the way out, I have no recall.   Then we drove home.   In silence or conversation, I do not know. Oh, the men tried to move him from the church the next week and I remember my Mother saying they talked to him like a dog but she said he answered them like you would your Grandfather with all the respect and dignity he could muster but he never backed down and he never got angry. We waited, but no cattle truck came to our door to load our things.  

            My Daddy taught me a lesson that day in that church about what people really were, whether black or white, wrong or right, for you or against you.  It is not about them.  It is about you and how far you are prepared to go.  You are commanded by God to live with compassion, faith, strength, and humility and to speak for justice.  I learned that the day he prayed for Dr. King.